quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
