Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
