I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
