and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
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I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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