We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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