We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
