hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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