She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
