dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
