I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize