discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
