you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize