We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
