Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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