I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize