so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
