Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
