well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I faked an abortion last night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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