remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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