i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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