If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
