apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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