do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
