I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
