I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just had sex bonerless
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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