I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
