I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
