but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
