I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
