sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
