I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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