Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
