Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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