My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
