Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
