it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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