Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
