I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
