So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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