so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
