That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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