Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
