Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
