that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
love makes seman taste better
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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