I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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