Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
