Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
