My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
