once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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