Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
