dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
