glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This is my gift to your gina
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
