actually, I'm a sock model
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
