Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
