I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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