yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
