I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
