so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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