i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize