Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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