You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
