dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize