I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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